Of Giving and Taking
by Insidiae
Summary: [You're dying, aren't you?] It's hard to depend on someone to live. It's harder to be the person they depend on. Oneshot, KuroxFai, spoilers for AcidTokyo.


Yay angst! Um, hurrah?

Yeah, so, this was done, what, five days ago? Something like that. FFN is the sux.

I don't own it.

* * *

They don't speak as much.

The silence of the room is broken with the clattering of silverware rather than happy chatter. The tension is thick in the air, smothering their breaths. Not even Mokona can say anything, eyes cast downwards and ears flattened sadly against its head.

Sakura forces a smile. She's the brave one, Kurogane thinks. Every so often, she'll say something casually – something exciting that happened to her that day, or some news she heard that may lead them to finding a feather. She coerces nods and grunts out of the others in response, but there's only so much she can do. The poor girl is caught between the desire to save the broken family, and the unsettling, uncharacteristic disdain she feels towards its newest member.

Syaoran fidgets nervously. He knows he doesn't belong here, but instead of feeling resentment towards the man who captured him and stole his life away with a clone, all he can feel is regret that he wasn't there for his princess when she needed him. He tries to be supportive for her now, smiling gently when she speaks, sometimes offering his opinion to the conversation. He thanks Kurogane for doing such difficult tasks in order to find Sakura's feathers that day, and he compliments Fai on the meal he made, trying hard to ignore the fact that the single dead, blue eye looks everywhere but at him.

Fai doesn't speak at all. He flits between the table and the kitchen, bringing around different foods for the others. Wordlessly, he picks at his own, pressured by Sakura's concerns that he's looking thinner. Thinner, Kurogane thinks. And paler, too. The children don't notice it, he's sure, because Fai is a liar and a faker and he knows how to deceive, but Kurogane can tell. It's easier to see the thin veins running under the mage's skin, veins that are hungry – blood-starved. It's easy for him to act, because he eats at every meal. It's not a lot, but the wizard never did eat large helpings. Under normal circumstances, it would be more than enough for him. But these are not normal circumstances. _Fai_ is no longer normal.

And he hasn't had blood in over a week.

The blond returns from the kitchen with a plate of cheese. While Sakura, Syaoran, and Kurogane eat at it lightly, Fai doesn't touch it. The ninja doesn't care for the cheese much either, seeing as it's rich and strong and too 'cultured' for his taste, but he eats it anyway to avoid suspicion from the other man. He keeps his vision straight in front of him, but from the corner of his eyes, he can see Fai fingering the rim of his eye patch. Kurogane knows he won't be eating any more tonight.

The warrior takes another slice. If the damn mage wasn't going to take care of his body, he'd have to do it for him.

* * *

"You're dying, aren't you?"

Fai turns his head slowly. Kurogane stands in the doorway to the room, arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the door frame. Souhi is slung over his hip, resting in her sheath. The ninja glares at him, clearly not happy.

Fai can't come to care.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kuro-pipi." He doesn't even attempt to sound happy. His voice sounds as dead as he looks. Kurogane notices how weak it is, raspy and breathy as though he doesn't even have the strength to speak.

The Japanese man narrows his eyes and sets his jaw. "You're a bad liar, mage," he says, unsheathing Souhi and aiming it at Fai. He marches up to the bed the blond sits on, his sword hand never faltering.

"Oh?" Fai states more than asks, not impressed. He slides his legs over the bed's edge so that he's fully lying down, rather than half sitting. The position brings him closer to Souhi's point, though he remains uncaring of the sharp metal aimed an inch away from the point directly between his eyes.

_No. Eye. Singular._

"The people in my world would disagree," he continues, eyelid falling closed. "In Ceres, I was known for my tale weaving."

Even though he can no longer see him through his shut eye, Fai can hear Kurogane snarl and smiles. "What kind of fool do you take me for?!" the ninja growls, and the wizard can hear him pacing. "Che. People die when they don't take care of their bodies, you know." The blond makes no response. He doesn't need to hear this from Kurogane.

Silence falls over the room, except for a small whoosh of air marking the sword's movement. A few seconds later, Fai starts to hear a soft, constant plunk – the sound of a liquid dropping heavily onto a surface. His eye shoots open.

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice is low and as cold as the world he came from. Threat is laced throughout.

Kurogane shrugs, watching the blood leave his slit wrist in gushes. Souhi rests on a nearby dresser, her edge stained with the red liquid. "If you don't do anything, I'll die from blood loss," he states blandly, as though he's talking about what to have for dinner – which, Fai thinks, may not be so far from the truth.

The magician laughs bitterly, rising and shifting sideways so he's sitting with his legs over the bed's edge again. "And you call me an idiot." The grin is back on his face, but it's so full of malice that it makes Kurogane want to shudder. "All that will do is kill both of us."

"Yeah," Kurogane agrees. "It will, won't it?" He clutches at the dresser, feeling woozy. The fallen blood collects on the floor, forming a puddle. "Your saliva would stop it."

Fai laughs mirthlessly again, a slender hand combing through blond hair, before standing up, long legs extending gracefully. He slinks towards Kurogane, stopping only when their faces are mere inches apart.

"It's times like this that make me wish I could hate you," Fai says.

And then he leans down and feeds.

* * *

Things get better, if only a little.

With each memory Sakura regains, she becomes happier. Her favorites involve spending time with a faceless, nameless boy out in the desert, exploring ruins on the few occasions her brother would let her out of the palace. She direly wishes to know who the boy is, but for the moment she's satisfied telling the stories of her life to the others, who nod and smile and congratulate her. She fails to notice, however, how sad Syaoran's smile seems to be.

But, he's getting better, too. Sakura's becoming more and more accepting of him everyday. No, he'll never be _her Syaoran-kun, _but he's far too kind for her to think of him as a bad person. He helps out wherever he can, and spends a lot of time with the princess searching for feathers, which is all he ever wants. He also helps Fai out in the kitchen in return for the cooking the lessons his 'mommy' gives him so he can impress Sakura.

Fai is only too happy to have him there. With his body's rejuvenation, his mood uplifted too. He smiles more, and returns to calling everyone, including himself, by nicknames or cute honorifics. It's a welcome change from all his gloom and denial, and everyone has high hopes that he's finally accepting himself for what he's become. Fai still isn't used to the vampirism, and still considers it a repulsive part of his being, but he feeds from Kurogane regularly to avoid a repeat of the past confrontation.

He chats animatedly with the children, carefully watching the ninja, who's sitting off to the side. He's very tired, Fai notices – too tired to even take part in a simple conversation. Sakura and Syaoran don't notice, because Kurogane isn't a very talkative person in the first place, and they're too wrapped up in their own worries, as is expected. But Fai notices.

And Fai frowns.

* * *

"You're dying, aren't you?"

Kurogane cringes, broken from his meditative state by the interruption. He cracks an eye open, scowling at the man blocking the room's light from getting to him. Kurogane can admit: from his position sitting cross-legged on the floor, with Fai standing directly in front of him, the tall man is fairly more intimidating. Not enough that he's actually scared, but enough that he could see how Fai may have once upon a time been a warrior as well.

The black-haired man grimaces at the use of his own words against him and makes to stand. "I'm fine-"

"You're not fine!" Fai shouts, watching him stumble on his way up, leaning on Souhi for support. When had his legs gotten so weak? The mage's hands clench at his sides, his single blue eye narrowing to a dangerous slit.

Kurogane ignores it, stabilizing himself. "I said I'm fine, so I'm fine."

A slap rings throughout the room, and Kurogane realizes a few seconds later that his cheek stings.

"How _dare_ you," Fai hisses, entire body shaking with rage. "How dare you preach to me about living when you throw your own life away."

Kurogane narrows his eyes in return. "It was the only way to get you to feed. You'd never do it on your own."

"Then you should've stopped me!" Fai roars, grasping Kurogane's collar and yanking him closer. Faces centimeters away, he continues, "You should have told me I was taking too much! Just because I have to drink your blood doesn't mean I have to kill you in the process!" His head droops lower with every word, eventually stopping to rest at the junction between Kurogane's neck, chest, and shoulder. "What if you really died?" he questions, his voice suddenly much softer. "What would I do then?" By the time he finishes, his voice is a whisper, and he realizes belatedly that there are tears falling from his eye and empty socket.

Kurogane raises a large hand and places it on the other man's back, rubbing soothing circles on the area between his shoulder blades. "I didn't know any other way."

Fai's hands drop lifelessly from his collar as he raises his head. He offers the ninja a sad smile. "There's always another way."

They stay like that for a few minutes, the silence more comfortable between them than it has been in weeks, as Kurogane ponders his words. "…How do I know you won't starve yourself again?"

"Silly Kuro-sama, it's hitsuzen," Fai replies, giving a genuine grin for the first time Kurogane can remember since Tokyo. "That, and a matter of giving and taking."

Kurogane finds himself believing Fai's words even before they leave his lips.

* * *

Guh. Serious!Fai is so difficult to write.

Please review!

-Insidiae-


End file.
